Obsession..

Have u ever been obsessed? Weird qestion heh…. It might sounds funny, but I guess I am obsessed. I always feel I’m not a man of obsession, it’s rare for me to want something so deep and so hard. Well of course I often interested in something, but usually after the first and second try to achieve it didn’t work out, I stop and forget it. I’m a lazy person. I never wanted to try so hard to get something I wanted, and it never been a burden for me either. I never care if I always be the sidekicks. That worth for everything, money, pride, girls, prestige, wealth, stuffs, and etc..

But suddenly, this last few week actually, it’s all changed. The simplest example is I want a vehicle, either a car or a motorcycle. This “wanted” feeling is so strong echoing from the deep of my heart. I always think about it. But since, like we all know, those two things cost a lot of “cuan”, then all I can do is imagine it, or even dream it. I realy, realy, realy want it. Sometimes I even imagine that someone will give me a car, or perhaps someone would give me a bunch of money that is much enogh to get me a car or a motorcycle. Childish heh.. of course I knew it will always be an imagination after all. So I made a simple decision that perhaps it’s imperative if I only want to have a motorcycle, given that it’s lot cheaper than a car so I guess I could save some of my money and I can buy it eventually. But then I realized that it would take years to achieve it considering my financial condition. I still got “monthly money” from my parents. It’s a shame for I’m a 23 years old young man. But let’s forget that and just remember that I get few hundred thousands from my parents monthly. Sure I make some of my own which is more or less in the same amounts. But u see that my needs monthly takes almost every single rupiah. So how am I gonna make a saving? I’ve planned, actually, to restrict my expenses. So I assume that monthly I could save around 100 or200 thousands. Again, considering that the price for a second condition motorcycle is around 5 – 8 million rupiahs, I realized that I can fulfill my dream within….2 – 4 years, gossh!!! I can’t wait that long…but there’s nothing I can do for now.

I think I’m a bit depressed thinking about it. Sure there’s something I can do, but heck! I cant’ think it. I realized how stupid, how uncreative I am for my in ability to solve this heck of a problem…. Sometime I want to cried out loud for the one up there

give me a way

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gosh I need to make money, in a medium to high amount of course, and halal surely.. BUT HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW? Darn!!!!! i can’t think of how…………………………

(August 2006)